worries

My driving test is coming soon, on the 26th of February, 2007. Anxiety and nervousness are getting the better of me as the date draws closer by the seconds. It's my second test since I failed my first test on the 12th of February. I was really devastated after the test on that day because I didn't manage to pass either one of the two test. The driving test consists of two test : the obstacle test ( hill, parking and three-point turn) and the road test. For the obstacle test, I failed my hill test as my car, a kancil reversed after letting off the handbrake at the wrong time. For my road test, I failed on the first junction (what a bad driver I am!) because I've forgotten to pull the handbrake when I stopped the car. A mandatory mistake it seems. What a crap!

So, here I am. Just two more days, and I'll be going through all that again. The long wait is terrible and the whole test could take up my entire day. Please let me pass this time around, I don't want to burden my parents with another rm150 to re-sit the test. I really wondered why it's so expensive. All they have to do is provide me with a car to test, why do they need rm100 for that purpose? (By the way, the other rm50 is the fees for extra class.)

Aside from that, my results day is around the corner, even though the ministry of education has yet to decide the release date for my spm 2006 results. If I'm not mistaken, the highest amount of subject ever taken by a spm candidate last year was 19 subjects. I've only undertaken 11 subjects, what a loser ! Still, I'm rather anxious and worried I would not achieve my expectations. Worries...worries...worries... Life is so full of stress, and I'm just so terrible at handling stress.

Besides that, I'm also having problems with my friends. Personally, I dislike people who are unable to stand on their on feet and be independent. It's alright to ask for support or advice whenever it's appropriate, what are friends for? I'm just very disappointed that one of my friend is over-reliant on me to get his things or agenda done with. I'm not your slave man, you gotta do it yourself! (I won't say elaborate further on this matter) Right now, I'm looking for ways to ditch this so-called friend of mine.

At the moment, I couldn't describe what's in me or my feelings. I might have just walked onto a long and winding path, till sometimes I feel like crying but couldn't bring myself to cry it out. Damn it ! Just damn it !